Waiting for the amazing

 Waiting for the amazing....

Just as I had done many years earlier, I underwent my mammogram with a sense of routine. The familiar anticipation of the pink, letter-sized envelope arriving in the mail a week later was part of the ritual. However, this year proved to be different. The envelope, which usually appeared promptly, was conspicuously delayed. It wasn't until after a phone call prompting a follow-up mammogram that I finally received the awaited letter. Its contents confirmed the necessity for further investigation, leading to a biopsy.

During the consultation with the doctor, it became clear that this was not ordinary calcification. The changes observed were specific to my right breast, causing concern. Until this year, all my mammograms since 1998 had been clear. The image on the screen revealed five white blotches accompanied by a vein-like white string, indicating something new.

Contrary to the expected shock, I found myself devoid of that emotion, as the impact of cancer had long left me when those words were first uttered. The visceral understanding of the afflictions caused by cancer was not foreign to our family, but now it became a personal reality. I grappled with the awareness that the envisioned 15 additional years might not materialize. The postponed plans—anniversary trips, whale watching cruises, visits to loved ones abroad, and mission trips—loomed as regrets. In essence, I mourned the time that seemed to be slipping away. It wasn't about me; it was about what I had deferred.

The narrative of our lives, I realized, should truly reflect who directs our path—the one and only Ancient of Days. Jeremiah 29:11 reminded me, "For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares Yahweh, ‘plans for peace and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope." It didn't promise an absence of difficulties, pain, or challenges but emphasized a hopeful future.

As I pondered what the future might hold, I acknowledged the inevitability of mourning unfinished past endeavors. However, I cautioned against the perilous trap of getting stuck—drowning in misery, bitterness, and resentment over unfulfilled dreams. The swamp of nostalgia, mourning lost youth, and being paralyzed by what used to be posed its own dangers. I resolved not to succumb to these pitfalls, aspiring to be remembered for anticipating the miraculous future God had planned.

Similar to Shadrach, Meshack, and Abednego facing the fiery furnace, I desired to embrace the third option—what God would do as we stepped into the fire. Within the flames, we experience release from hindrances, demonstrate the power of God, and redirect attention to the true champion of our story. The narrative centers on a God intimately involved with His creation, concerned with the details of each person in His image. A God willing to allow the consequences of our choices until we turn back to Him, patiently waiting to restore us to His loving care. This God navigates the mystery of free choice, foreseeing the future of every decision, ultimately turning them for our good, even in the midst of turmoil. For it is within the flames that we find strength, courage, and the capacity to face the future with resilience.