Breaking the Victim Narrative: Choosing Freedom in Life’s Storms

 

Life’s storms—whether a teen navigating senior year or an adult facing a major life transition—can easily encourage a victim mentality. We may find ourselves saying:

• “This is too hard; I can’t handle it.”
• “It’s not my fault; life just happened to me.”
• “I’ll never be able to change; I’m stuck this way.”
• “I’ve done it this way for the past thirty years; it will take the next thirty years to change.”

While circumstances may be challenging, Scripture calls us to take responsibility for our choices and the focus of our hearts, even in difficult seasons.

Adopting a victim mentality can feel comforting in the short term. It can justify avoidance, indulgence, or retreat into instant pleasure—gaming, gambling, substances, or social distractions. These thoughts, especially the belief that “I’ve always done it this way,” can prevent us from taking small, daily steps toward lasting change.

“We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:5, ESV)

The first step to freedom is recognizing that our thoughts, reactions, and heart focus matter, and that God has equipped us with the Spirit and gifts to act differently than our impulses or circumstances might suggest.

Our choices begin in the heart.

“Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” (Proverbs 4:23, ESV)

When our heart focuses on self-pity, comparison, or instant gratification, our actions follow—often leading to shame, secrecy, and cycles of addiction. But when our hearts focus on God, gratitude, and responsibility, we align with His design for self-control, wisdom, and stability.

Teens and adults alike must learn to distinguish legitimate struggles from excuses that empower false solutions:

• For teens: Peer pressure, school challenges, and uncertainty about the future can feel overwhelming. Choosing responsibility means facing challenges, seeking godly guidance, and avoiding instant gratification.
• For adults: Retirement, career changes, or family transitions may evoke anxiety or a sense of loss. Choosing responsibility means seeking purpose, remaining disciplined, and trusting God through the unknown.

“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13, ESV)

Even when circumstances feel impossible, God equips us to respond with wisdom and self-control.

 

Breaking Free from Excuses

1. Acknowledge reality – name the challenge without assigning sole blame to circumstances or others.
2. Take ownership of choices – recognize that your responses, even to difficult situations, are within your control.
3. Shift heart focus to God – cultivate gratitude, prayer, and reliance on Scripture to redirect impulses.
4. Engage in godly habits – routines, accountability, and service strengthen the heart against temptation.
5. Accept growth as a process – setbacks may happen, but freedom comes from persistence, not perfection.

Breaking the victim narrative is not about denying challenges or pretending life is easy. It’s about choosing freedom in Christ, taking responsibility for our thoughts and actions, and refusing to let circumstances dictate our destiny.

David Powlison, in many of his writings, helped me see that change rarely happens in isolation. Addiction grows in secrecy and shame, but healing grows in the light of community.

We need people who will speak truth when we want to believe lies. We need friends who will pray when we feel too weak to lift our heads. We need the church to be the kind of place where struggles are not hidden but carried together.

Powlison reminded me that the gospel is not only about me and Jesus—it’s about us and Jesus.

“God sets the lonely in families.” (Psalm 68:6, ESV)

He gives us brothers and sisters so we never walk alone.

Sometimes this is messy. Loving an addict means bearing burdens, facing disappointments, and setting wise boundaries. But it is worth it. Every time we come alongside someone, we act as the hands and feet of Christ.

Life’s storms will come. For teens, the pressures of school, peers, and an uncertain future. For adults, transitions, career changes, and new seasons of life. The temptation to retreat into instant relief, indulgence, or avoidance is real.

But when we choose responsibility, take ownership of our thoughts and actions, and rely on God’s Spirit and the community He provides, we discover something beautiful: strength, resilience, and lasting stability.

Change is possible. Growth is real. Freedom is found in Christ.

When Our Expectations Collide With God’s Way

 

This season of life—stepping away from the workforce and navigating the uncertainties of long-term disability—has reminded me of how difficult it is to trust God when my expectations don’t match what is happening. I want things resolved quickly. I want clear answers. I want to fix what feels broken. Yet, the more I wrestle with it, the more I see that God is not asking me to scheme my way into security. He is asking me to trust Him.

From the very beginning, people have tried to find their own solutions apart from God. In Genesis 3, Adam and Eve reached for knowledge outside of God’s design. In Genesis 6, the people of Noah’s time lived only for themselves, ignoring God’s holiness. In Genesis 11, humanity tried to build a tower to reach heaven on their own terms. Every attempt failed—not because the desire for wisdom, safety, or unity was wrong—but because they were trying to get it without God.

We often fall into the same trap.

We work longer hours thinking if we just push a little harder, we can control the outcome. But Christ calls us to rest, not in idleness, but in His finished work. He reminds us that “apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5).

We devise alternatives and back-up plans, convinced that God might forget us or fail us. Yet Colossians 1:16–17 reminds us that in Him all things hold together. He doesn’t need a back-up plan—He already is the plan.

Some even turn to chance, like the lottery, hoping a windfall will solve financial struggles. But God doesn’t work by luck or randomness. Romans 5:6–11 tells us His love is certain, demonstrated in Christ dying for us while we were still weak. Nothing is more sure than that.


Isaiah 40:21–26 declares that the same God who calls every star by name is the God who holds our lives. Psalm 90 reminds us that before the mountains were formed, from everlasting to everlasting, He is God. Christ Himself is the eternal anchor when our expectations fall apart.

And here is the wonder: God doesn’t just hold the universe together in raw power—He holds us in perfect love. “God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him” (1 John 4:16). His answer to our need was not a temporary fix, but His own Son.

Our schemes are exhausting. God’s way is life-giving. Our plans are temporary. God’s way is eternal.

Galatians 3:7–9 reminds us that true blessing comes by faith, just as Abraham believed God and it was counted to him as righteousness. In the same way, our hope today is not in the systems of this world, but in Christ who has already secured our future.

So when I feel tempted to overwork, to scramble for my own solutions, or to trust in chance, I remember: God has already provided the ultimate solution in Christ. If He has solved my greatest need—my salvation—I can trust Him to meet every other need in His way and in His time.

God does not want my frantic schemes. He wants my trust. And in the end, that trust is never misplaced, because He alone is faithful.